What is supportive parenting?
Parenting should aim to strengthen the positive bond between the parent and child. Positive experiences and a supportive relationship with the child are a good basis for a parent to resolve conflicts in upbringing. A child is more likely to agree to parental rules when they feel they have a safe relationship and good contact with their parent. As its name suggests, supportive parenting aims to support a child’s positive self-image and self-esteem.
It includes, among other things:
- a positive attitude towards the child
- negotiation and giving reasons for decisions
- clear and consistent boundaries
- gentle touches, holding the child in your arms or on your lap, and stroking their hair or back
- looking at and talking to the child in an accepting and encouraging way
- recognising and prioritising the child’s needs
- encouraging words and feedback
- supporting their strengths
- praising them
- recognising, verbalising and accepting their and your own emotions
Fourfold matrix of supportive parenting
1. Guiding and interacting with the child / Physical
Guidance and touch:
- Supportive guidance, instructions and adjustment
- Showing cause and effect
- Discussing, negotiating and giving reasons for decisions
- Clear and consistent boundaries
- Gentle touches, holding the child in your arms or on your lap, stroking their hair or back
- Looking at and talking to the child in an accepting and encouraging way
2. Guiding and interacting with the child / Psychological
Being present and acknowledging the child. Describes events/situations between the child and an adult who is close to the child:
- Taking an interest in the child and responding to the child’s initiatives
- Listening, verbalising, setting an example
- Encouraging speech and feedback, supporting the child’s strengths
- Praising the child
- Recognising, verbalising and accepting emotions
- Supporting the development of the child’s emotional and behavioural regulation skills
3. Taking care of the child’s basic needs / Physical
Providing good care:
- Age-appropriate care, clothing and nutrition
- Age-appropriate stimuli
- Facilitating movement that is characteristic of the child
- Safety, protection and living conditions
- Education
- Hygiene, health and health care
- Age-appropriate supervision and guidance
- Prioritising the child’s needs
4. Taking care of the child’s basic needs / Psychological
A supportive relationship. Describes the relationship and interaction between a child and an adult who is close to the child:
- Closeness, warmth and joy
- The parent is emotionally available to the child
- Keeping the child’s mental capabilities in mind
- A positive attitude and approach to the child
- Developmentally appropriate interaction with the child
- Ability to recognise the child’s individual limits
- Ability to support the child’s social development
- Joy for the child and for spending time with them
- A sensitive approach, giving the child space